Release and Be Free
“If you don’t, I won't be your best friend anymore.”
I'll never forget the first time I heard those words spoken. It was as if everything I had worked so hard for was going up in smoke. I mean, granted I was only in the second grade, but this was my first best friend and my first year in private school. I can’t remember what my friend was asking me to do, but I can remember the thought that hit me "if I don't do this she won't be my best friend anymore."
I never knew that this statement would end up being part of the framework of most of my friendships leading into adulthood. Isn't it funny that even in the second grade someone can place unrealistic expectations on us? How awful is it that if you don't do exactly what someone asks, everything else you have done good goes down the drain. But, isn't that how most of us live our lives?
We live our lives looking for who we can please and who we can make happy. We look to please our parents, siblings, spouses, friends, bosses, co-workers, etc.
The list is endless.
One day I realized I had been allowing every relationship to be shaped but those words. Something that had happened in adolescence was still controlling me in adulthood. I knew I wanted it to stop, but I didn’t know how. It wasn’t till I had a “real” conversation with God that things begin to change. It dawned on me that I had the same insecurities with God. I thought it was about reaching perfection, when is was truly about progress. God didn’t want me to perform, He wanted me to push. He wanted me to push past my fears of what I thought people wanted me to be and just be who He made me to be. I know right! It’s that’s simple, “just be you!” *Insert movie theme music *
Oh how I wish it was that easy, but honestly it’s a daily decision. Accepting who you are, while figuring out who you are, is challenging. I believe it’s why the Bible says, “before you were formed in your mother’s womb I knew you.” I have quoted this scripture for years and yet I never truly understood it until recently. The creator of the universe is letting us know: Hey, I know you. He knows every detail and He’s here to help us navigate our feelings and emotions when we don’t have a clue what they are doing. Trust Him daily with who you are and watch how free you will feel!